This is a heavy topic filled with things that I don’t like to share. I write on because I know somebody else out there is dealing with this too and I want you to know that you are not alone.
It’s been a couple weeks since I’ve blogged here, which is not my style. I’m usually here every week.
Well, to be honest I’ve just not been into this lately. It’s not that I have nothing to say or topics to write about, its that my brain has literally not been itself. The gray matter has been in a severe low forcing me to deal with life without fully being there for me. While I can say that it is functioning better today than it was yesterday, managing a brain that requires extra attention can be exhausting.
My brain has had to deal with migraines since I was 9 years old. Thankfully they are not everyday and I have been able to prevent them from happening very often with lifestyle and cannabis but reading studies that show a correlation between a number of horrible ailments like Parkinson’s or Alzheimer’s for people who get migraines sits heavy with me. That’s not a future I can accept.
My brain has had to deal with depression since I was young too. I’ll never forget the first time that I had suicidal thoughts at age 13 and then also thinking at the same time how strange that thought was since I love life. While I’ve found ways to manage depression it is still something that my brain is afflicted with from time to time. I take dark feelings seriously because I am fully aware of what being in a depressed state is doing for my future older brain.
My brain has also been sending my nervous system jacked up messages since I was a child. My musculoskeletal system is the perfect example of this. It developed with severe scoliosis, muscle spasms, and since a tender age I have actively worked on creating and maintaining balance and ease when I walk and move. Since childhood I have also had to deal with a feeling that is like my skin is crawling if I have to sit still for too long. It’s not painful per se, but it is so uncomfortable that pain is be easier to deal with.
In my world, cannabis is used as a tool to help me manage the chronic conditions of my brain. Regularly taking it raw has made a noticeable difference in the frequency of my migraines, depressions, and muscle spasms, like they become a distant memory. Inhaling cannabis calms my nervous system down and lifts me above depressions that my brain may be experiencing in the moment. Cannabis topicals ease and stop the muscle spasms and eases the funky nerve stuff.
The quest to take care of my very special brain requires listening without judgement to the messages it sends me and loving it with healthy food, positive stimulation, meditation to practice calm, and cannabis.
If you have a special brain too, may you find peace today.